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this is a very serious matter [Feb. 21st, 2005|06:38 pm]
[mood | bored]
[music |bing ping]

shooby wah wah
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(no subject) [Dec. 6th, 2004|12:06 am]
me.
sad
hurt
lost
wrong
sorry
empty
worried
confused
annoyed
alone
blank
numb
fine
bad
me.
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(no subject) [Nov. 27th, 2004|09:19 pm]
i journey to her on fur.
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2004|08:22 pm]
the roar of construction workers
the fighting of noisy children
deafening...
but all I hear is your breath.

sweet roses outside my window
freshly baked bread from the kitchen
heavenly...
but all I smell is the soap you wear.

a star-streaked night and a bright, full moon
gallopping horses and gliding eagles
stunning...
but all I see is your beautiful face.

a friend's pat on the back
my mother's warm hugs
loving...
but all I feel is your static touch.

school counsellor, available at all times
the nurse who patched up my knee
reassuring...
but all I need is you.
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something? [Nov. 16th, 2004|08:19 pm]
[music |hard to explain- the strokes]

sitting on the floor next to
your bedside,
listening to your peaceful
breath, as you ride on the
wings of unconsciousness.
every now and then,
a moonbeam peers down through
the window, illuminating
your face, so pale and
beautiful.
i see your hair caress
your cheek, wishing i
was a strand.
i dare not shift nor
make a sound,
for fear of the
awakening;
When you will see me...
then crush me and
stone me and
tear me apart
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to a friend [Nov. 13th, 2004|11:51 pm]
you wanted me to be close to you, but i was pushing away.
you wanted me to love you, but i ignored you.
you wanted me to confide in you, but i decided not to.

i did all you wanted me to do and now i'm being pushed away and ignored.
i deserve it, but i was expecting support of some kind, the one you always offered.
it's happened again, and will happen again.
i don't want to hurt, and i don't want to feel.
i don't want you, or your words.
i've done it once again and will get over it, but i want you to know it's killing me.
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(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2004|08:06 pm]
[mood | blah]
[music |the crowd]

Because sometimes we feel excrutiatingly empty.
Because sometimes we don't know what to do with our lives.
Because sometimes we feel like nothing is going as we have planned.
Because sometimes we feel so happy and then suddenly we feel so sad.
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interesting pictures [Nov. 9th, 2004|08:20 pm]
[mood | indescribable]
[music |nothing]

 

 

 

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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2004|03:56 pm]
[mood | creative]
[music |introduction.]

I HOPE THESE THINGS THEY COME ALIVE AND BITE YOU IN THE NIGHT.
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GOODNESS [Nov. 7th, 2004|05:53 pm]
[mood | tired]
[music |timber and wood- xavier rudd]

Here we are under these particular stars
Here we stand Victorian
Where the white folk can grow to know so
Very little about the black folk
The same folk who rightfully own
This piece of beauty that we call our home

Well negativity is often heard from society
With conviction they preach
Not even knowing of whom they speak
I guess it’s each to there own
Those that want to will know
I guess it’s each to there own
Because from the top the views are old and grey

Well I feel so ashamed
Of this system and these ways
The tiny hearts that lead our nation
And tiny minds that let them in
And I see your confusion
I see your pain
I see your pain and your confusion
And there’s still some with my skin
Who still try and hide the reason
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hoof [Nov. 5th, 2004|12:40 pm]
[mood | good]
[music |fridge noises]

only a couple of hours and i will be on my way to sydney. woot. fun times. i'll see my grandparents and my aunty and my nan's house. yum. can't wait. and then tomorrow i will go out to lunch with eeeeeeeveeryone and i'll see my gay aunties and my crazy aunty and her boring husband and my corey and wow. lots more. can't wait. i haven't seen the gay aunties for yoooonks. they think they're king shit. but they bought me a cooool pen once. it pullef appart and had all different colours. and a spinning top that played music and had lights!! i broke it not long after i got it.. AND THEN ON SATURDAY NIGHT I GO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL XAVIER. i had a dream about it and he was showing a movie about birds and i screamed too loud and he looked at me and laughed. strange.
anywho i'm off now.
have a grand weekend you cottage stew syrup munchers.
much love



beep.


OHH and nikki chin up buttercup. =)
alvin no more explosions pleeeeease. i worry.
love love.
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mwldfyhdhdsd [Nov. 4th, 2004|04:49 pm]
[mood | grumpy]
[music |from a balance beam.]

mope whinge blah. this is pointless, but relevant. so am i.
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the story is in the soil, keep your head close to the ground [Nov. 4th, 2004|03:58 pm]
[mood | indescribable]

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you.
Said I liked your shoes,
You said, "Thanks, Can I follow you?"

So it's up the stairs,
And out of view. No prying eyes.
I poured some wine.
I asked your name;
You asked the time.

Now it's two o'clock.
The club is closed,
We are up the block.
Your hands are on me,
Pressing hard against your jeans,
Your tongue in my mouth,
Trying to keep the words from coming out,
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before.

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck.
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here,
But I'm not sure.
I've got the money
If you've got the time.
He said, "It feels good."
I said "I'll give it a try."

Then my mind went dark,
We both forgot where your car was parked.
Let's just take the train.
I'll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors, with bad habits...
Some sad singers, they just play tragic.
And the phone is ringing,
And the van is leaving
Let's just keep touching,
Let's just keep...keep singing

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full.
I need some meaning I can memorize.
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind.

But you, but you...

You write such pretty words,
But life's no storybook.
Love's an excuse to get hurt.
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do.
Then hurt me.
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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2004|06:43 pm]
[mood | okay]
[music |the strokes- new york city cops]

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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2004|08:16 pm]
[mood | crushed]
[music |untouchable face]

Think I'm going for a walk now. I feel a little unsteady.
Don't want nobody to follow me. . . 'cept maybe you.

I could make you happy you know if you weren't already.
I could do a lot of things. . .and I do.

To tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you.
Too bad you had to have a better half.

She's not really my type, but I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together

So fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

Two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon
Neon sign on the horizon Rubbing elbows with the moon

It's A safe haven of sleepless Where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top twenty country songs

And out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind
You know I don't look forward to seeing you again

You'll look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away
And I won't know what to do. And I won't know what to say

Except fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

I see you and I'm so perplexed. What was I thinking?
What will I think of next? Where can I hide?

In the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table
And when the fan is on it sways, gently side to side

And There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing
I see Orion and say nothing the only thing I can think of saying

Is fuck you
And your untouchable face
fuck you
For existing in the first place

who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much

Said who am I
I bet you can't even tell me that much
Said who am I
Sombody just tell me that much

Said who am I
Somebody just tell me that much
Said who am I
Somebody just tell me that much
Said who am I
Somebody, somebody just tell me that much.
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"medium brown" [Oct. 31st, 2004|07:01 pm]
[mood | blah]
[music |FAT SALLY LEE- REDNEX]

i dyed my hair "medium brown"
but it's black. now i know grace wasn't lying.....
humph, now i really do look like a gothic whore
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boredom [Oct. 31st, 2004|03:32 pm]
[mood | restless]
[music |sexy mother fucker- prince]

this is the weeeeirdest thing at times. though i'm used to it. tis halloweeeen. i think i'm going out later dressed as the gothic whore i am. ( yeah...) but no little kids as yet. probably because of the driveway and their little legs getting sore. if anyone actually made it up i'd give them my lollypops from a few halloweens ago. teeeheeeeeheeee. ahhh. this morning i was sleeping and mum opened my door and started screaming jibberish. so i looked up and some lady was there too. they kept saying stuff about me and how much i've grown up since last time. i don't remember any last time. this rude lady comes to my house and makes me get up. so i have a shower and then when i go into the loungeroom there's a little ditsy face sitting there in a bright pink tracksuit. and i couldn't help but laugh...and then she got a little pissed off i think. i didn't meeeeeeeean to laugh it just came out. they stayed for a while and ate lunch with us. and the ditsy face talked about all her ex-boyfriends and how much she misses her one now. i wasn't annoyed by her, i found her highly amusing. she had a few layers of makeup and hair pulled back so tight i could see her scalp which was peroxided a few hundred times. she was hilarious. fake nails, platform thongs...the lot. mmmmm. then they left. and i made jaime a cd she's been asking for. she wanted one song on it. some love song her and her boyfriend share. so i put it on the cd...along with wake me up before you go go. it's my trademark. i love this shirt it makes me happy. it's white with a little boys face on it. he has dreads and lotsa piercings. his name is jakus. my toes are cold and they're abusing me because of their lack of love. i have these great new shoes, they aren't really shoes but they are. blue knitted dog things. hahaha
"So silently i creep on over to the mortuary- Lift up the casket and fiddle with the dead Their cold blue flesh makes me turn red. says:
my dang dog has been pooping everrrywhere over the past 2 days"
says william.
i haven't rumped nicole for a while. she said she misses it. OHHHH HER FAMILY GAVE ME A BLANKET FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! they've all been crocheting it for yonks and then bam! it's miiiiiiiine. oh so happy. i had a spectacular birthday this year. i enjoyed it quite immensely. i got nothing useful appart from that chalk and the zorro sword that has a chalk holder in the end so i can draw on stuff! go jaaaaime. even though i chose it. gooooo stephen for using it straight away with the wrapping on. gooooooo rennae for the parrot! goooo tim for the you-kel-ayleeeee. dont know how to spell it so i sound it out. gooo alvin for the peeeeerdy bracelet. goooo william for the troll and detective book and other things. gooooo elle for the cd!!!!! gooooooooo ben for nothing. actually he drove me to school and made me late. funnnnnnnnn. gooooooooooo everyone for everything. goooooo shann for that awesome pipe! erk i don't want to goooooooooo everyone because i'll be here for too long.
i hope to write a speech today about a book. and if i don't i'll cry because i haven't made aaaany effort for english and the teacher will be a smart arse. i can handle being yelled at and all the punishing crap, but i hate it when teachers are smart arses. hummmmmmmmmmmmmph
i'm hungry. i want my special tea
i use 2 teabags, one green tea, one chai tea.
nnnyuummmyyy
no milk
one sugar
deeelightful
time to get garn i think. if you've read down to here then thankyou
cheerio friends =)
end.
much love.
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [Oct. 31st, 2004|02:46 pm]
[mood | dirty]
[music |date rape- sublime]

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help yourself...song of the day [Oct. 31st, 2004|02:25 pm]
[mood | amused]
[music |free at last- g looooooooooove]

Love is like candy on a shelf
You want to taste and help yourself
The sweetest things are there for you
Help yourself, take a few
That's what I want you to do.

We're always told repeatedly
The very best in life is free
And if you want to prove it's true
Baby I'm telling you
This is what you should do

Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms, just say the word, and they are yours

Just help yourself to the love
In my heart your smile has opened up the door.
The greatest wealth that exists in the world,
Could never buy what I can give

Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms, and then lets really start to live

( Alllllllllllll right. Yeah. )

My heart has love enough for two
More than enough for me and you
I'm rich with love, a millionaire
I've so much, it's unfair
Why don't you take a share

Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms, just say the word, and they are yours

Just help yourself to the love,
In my heart your smile has opened up the door

The greatest wealth that exists in the world,
Could never buy what I can give
So help yourself to my lips, to my arms
And then let's really start to live

Just help yourself to my lips
To my arms, just say the word, and they are yours

Just help yourself to the love
In my heart your smile has opened up the door
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(no subject) [Oct. 30th, 2004|08:51 pm]
do you want me to get rid of it.im lame so sue me
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